It’s finally sinking in. When we say yes to one thing, we are saying no to something else. I use to think it was possible to say yes to everything. But the everything I was saying yes to, didn’t include myself.
For some, putting others first becomes so important that they lose sight of what they themselves need. This has certainly been true for me.
I use to think that by putting others first and saying no to my own needs I was living some kind of higher calling.
There are times when we do need to put others first. But when we do it so frequently that we start to lose sight of our own needs….that’s a problem.
What happens when the only person we say no to is ourselves?
I love to help. It gives me great satisfaction and makes my life feel meaningful. And helping others is good. It’s what we all should do.
I am a caregiver. It’s every inch of who I am. When I don’t have someone that needs care, I find myself seeking out ways to help others.
Here’s the thing though. Need is everywhere. It is easy to be distracted by the immense needs around us. But what about the needs within us? Even those who love to help sometimes need to help themselves.
Turning that helping hand inwards can seem foreign, self centered even. But just because something doesn’t feel familiar, doesn’t mean it’s not right. Healthy habits seem to be much harder to learn than unhealthy ones! Listening to ourselves and responding to what we need is not only healthy, it’s essential.
Sometimes we have to say yes to ourselves. I’m finally seeing that checking in with myself, seeing what I need and then helping myself to get those needs met – is something I must do.
I’ll never stop saying yes to helping others. But seeing my own needs as valuable and worthy…. that’s a step in the right direction. A step towards a healthier more balanced life, a more balanced me. It’s going to take practice though. All healthy habits do.
So these days, I’m practicing saying yes to me.